What are you scared of?
There’s the usual list of things, I’m sure. Snakes, spiders, tornadoes, fires, floods, speaking in public, etc. I generally consider myself pretty tough and daring (I AM a farmgirl, after all! We pride ourselves on being a tough breed, lol!). I don’t flinch in the face of most of those. But there is one thing that absolutely paralyzes me….
Because of that very real and debilitating fear, I don’t let myself do anything that I think I *might* not be good at.
I have no problem experimenting in my garden, trying a new recipe or even encouraging my husband with new endeavors on the farm. But, really, I don’t feel like anyone SEES those things. So if I fail, nobody knows, right? When I was a kid, I was very hesitant to try anything new in front of anybody. What if I wasn’t good at it? What if they laughed at me? What if they critiqued me and I couldn’t handle it?
So, I became very good at not doing much of anything outside of my safe little box. This fear followed me to high school. While it seemed that everyone else was trying different classes or new clubs or new sports, I stuck with my tried and true (which was orchestra. I played violin and was pretty good at it, so I felt confident in orchestra.) My junior year, I went out on a limb and joined the debate team, which I discovered I loved! But… my best friend was already part of the team, so I felt like she paved the way for me. So, it really wasn’t me 100% by myself trying something out of my comfort zone.
Enter marriage and kids in my twenties. I married a farmboy and lived on his family farm. Not a real stretch for me because I, too, grew up on a very similar farm. Sure I moved across the county line, but it was only 8 miles from my family’s farm and the town that I grew up going to school and shopping in. So, yeah, no fears to face there. My life is pretty much just like I wanted it to be, which is a fabulous blessing, I know! Not everyone gets to live that dream.
But, there are two things that I have been wanting to do and both scare me to the bottom of my toes- one dream I’ve had since I was a teenager and one that started about 10 years ago.
Wanna hear what they are?
OK, here goes…. I want to write and publish a book (my dream since I was a teenager) and I want to have a successful blog (my more recent adult dream)!
What if I fail?????
What if nobody likes them????
Those thoughts pretty much stop me in my tracks.
You know what I realized this week?
So, what if I fail! So, what if nobody likes my writing! God knows my dreams and my heart. If I’m suppose to do those things, He’ll help me. He does not give me a spirit of fear, right? I do that all on my own. So, I’ve been praying and talking to Him about it and I’m going to try my hardest to put myself out there and see what happens…..
What are your biggest fears? What can you do or are doing to confront them?